In Praise of Being Selfish: A Life Lesson Worth Rethinking

During a recent friendly conversation, one of my friends remarked that the younger generation is far more selfish than those who came before them.

I smiled and said, “Good for them.”

Needless to say, he was taken aback.

Why Being ‘Selfish’ Isn’t Always a Bad Thing

The word "selfish" has been burdened with negativity for generations. 

We associate it with greed, arrogance, and disregard for others. But in reality, there’s a healthier, more meaningful version of selfishness, one rooted in self-preservation and personal growth.

My rationale is simple:
If you’re not selfish, you may never be truly successful.
And if you’re not successful, how can you possibly help anyone else?

A Lesson from 40 Years in Aviation

Having spent over four decades in aviation, one piece of advice from every in-flight safety briefing has stayed with me:

“In case of a depressurization, oxygen masks will drop from the panel above you. Put on your own mask before assisting others.”

That simple instruction carries a profound truth about life itself. You cannot help another person if you are gasping for air. First, you must secure your own oxygen.

Apply the Oxygen Mask Rule to Life

If you’re not physically healthy, mentally balanced, or financially stable, how can you support someone else, even if you truly want to?

Compassion without capacity helps no one. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

This is why we should teach children, from their very earliest years, to take care of themselves first. To be strong, independent, and yes, a little selfish. Because the stronger they become, the greater their ability to lift others.

Selfishness vs. Self-Absorption

Let’s be clear, this isn’t about greed or self-centeredness.
Healthy selfishness means building yourself up so that your success, wisdom, and strength can benefit others.

When you are strong, you can be generous.
When you are secure, you can be compassionate.
When you have enough, you can give freely.

True generosity grows from a foundation of self-care.

Final Thoughts: The Oxygen Mask Philosophy

The next time someone complains that the younger generation is selfish, we should thank them for it.

Perhaps they’re learning an important truth: that before you can change the world, you must first take care of yourself.

After all, you can only help others once your own oxygen mask is firmly in place.